Making New Year’s Resolutions When You Have a Loved One in Hospice

As the New Year approaches, it brings a time for reflection and setting intentions for the year ahead. However, for families in Brookings, Oregon, and throughout the coastal region who have a loved one in hospice care, this time can feel bittersweet, filled with complex emotions and uncertainty. Making New Year's resolutions might seem trivial or overwhelming under these circumstances. Yet, it is precisely during these challenging times that setting gentle, compassionate resolutions can bring a sense of hope and resilience to your caregiving journey.

Understanding the Complexity of Your Emotions

When you're supporting a loved one through hospice care, it's important to first acknowledge the complexity of your emotions. You might find yourself grappling with grief, fear, anxiety, and even unexpected moments of gratitude and love. These feelings are entirely natural and valid, representing the full spectrum of human experience during life's most profound transitions.

Your New Year's resolutions during this period need to honor these emotions rather than ignore them. Instead of focusing on dramatic life changes or ambitious goals, consider resolutions that prioritize emotional well-being, self-compassion, and sustainable caregiving practices. This approach recognizes that your primary focus is rightfully on your loved one while ensuring you maintain the strength and resilience needed for this important role.

Compassionate Resolution Ideas for Hospice Families

Prioritizing Self-Care in Your Daily Routine

Consider resolving to take dedicated time each week for self-care activities. When you're caring for a loved one in hospice, it's natural to neglect your own well-being, but this approach ultimately serves no one. Regular self-care activities, even simple ones like enjoying a quiet cup of tea, taking a walk along the beautiful Brookings coastline, or spending a few minutes in meditation, can help replenish your emotional and physical energy.

Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for maintaining your ability to provide loving support. This resolution might look like setting aside 30 minutes each day for yourself or designating one afternoon per week for activities that bring you peace and restoration.

Embracing Mindfulness and Gratitude Practices

Practicing daily moments of mindfulness and gratitude can provide powerful anchoring during turbulent times. Mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present moment, reducing anxiety about an uncertain future and helping you fully appreciate the time you have with your loved one.

Gratitude practice doesn't mean forcing positivity or denying difficult realities. Instead, it involves acknowledging small moments of grace that exist alongside the challenges. This might include feeling grateful for a peaceful morning with your loved one, appreciating the kindness of hospice staff, or recognizing your own strength and compassion as a caregiver.

Building and Maintaining Your Support Network

Resolve to reach out for support when you need it, recognizing that asking for help is a sign of strength rather than weakness. This support might come from talking with trusted friends, joining a local support group, or seeking professional counseling. Many hospice organizations, including those serving the Brookings area, offer family support services and can connect you with appropriate resources.

Maintaining connections with friends and family becomes crucial during this time. Isolation can be a significant risk when you're focused on caregiving, but staying connected with others provides emotional support and helps maintain a sense of normalcy. Even small interactions, like a brief phone call or text message, can provide meaningful connection and remind you that you're not navigating this journey alone.

Protecting Your Physical Health

Your physical health significantly impacts your emotional resilience and caregiving capacity. Consider resolving to take concrete steps to maintain your health, whether through regular medical check-ups, maintaining a balanced diet, or incorporating gentle exercise into your routine.

Physical health maintenance doesn't require elaborate fitness plans or dramatic dietary changes. Simple actions like taking short walks, ensuring you eat regular meals, staying hydrated, and getting adequate sleep when possible can make a substantial difference in your overall well-being and energy levels.

Celebrating Small Victories and Moments of Joy

Make a resolution to recognize and celebrate your daily small victories and moments of joy. During hospice care, progress might look different than in other life circumstances. Celebrating small moments, like a meaningful conversation with your loved one, a day when pain management was particularly effective, or simply making it through a difficult day with grace, can bring light into challenging times.

These celebrations don't need to be elaborate. They might involve acknowledging your efforts in a journal, sharing positive moments with supportive friends, or simply taking a moment to recognize your own resilience and love.

Practicing Self-Compassion and Flexibility

Resolve to be flexible with your expectations and to practice self-forgiveness when you feel you're falling short of perfection. Some days will be harder than others, and that's entirely normal. Recognizing that being a caregiver doesn't require perfection allows you to extend the same compassion to yourself that you naturally give to your loved one.

This resolution involves understanding that difficult days don't reflect your inadequacy as a caregiver but rather the challenging nature of the situation you're navigating. Practice speaking to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a dear friend facing similar circumstances.

Implementing Your Resolutions with Patience and Kindness

Successfully implementing these resolutions requires patience and self-compassion. Start small rather than attempting to incorporate too many changes at once, which can feel overwhelming during an already stressful time. Choose one or two resolutions that resonate most strongly with your current needs and focus on those initially.

Regular check-ins with yourself about your resolutions are important, and it's perfectly acceptable to adjust them as your situation or emotional needs change. Flexibility in your approach honors the unpredictable nature of hospice care and allows your resolutions to truly serve your well-being rather than becoming additional sources of pressure.

Celebrate your efforts and progress rather than focusing solely on outcomes. Every step forward, no matter how small, represents significant achievement given the challenges you're facing. Consider sharing your resolutions with a trusted friend or family member who can offer encouragement and gentle accountability.

Getting the Support Your Need

We offer two amazing free community-wide support groups that can help you during this stressful time. Our Caregiver Support Group helps people who are taking care of a loved one in hospice, and our Grief Support Group helps people going through any stage of grief, from anticipatory grief (before the inevitable occurs) to grief that you may experience years after. We invite you to join us.